Article by
Richard
Evans-Lacey:
Click to email me
the humanHi psychological health & fitness ...
Hi, my name is Richard Evans-Lacey, welcome to my new humanHi column in which I hope to explore the fascinating world of psychological health & fitness. Over the next few months I will be providing you with information and my own opinions on a variety of different approaches to psychological therapy and coaching; discussing some common issues, their causes and solutions; and introducing some useful models and techniques you can use to change your own life. If you have any questions then feel free to send them to me … perhaps I could use them as the start point of a future column?
My background is in providing one on one psychological coaching to mentally well adults with ‘stuff’. (‘Stuff’ is a technical term which I use here to cover a wide variety of issues that many of us have to some degree. Though painful and restricting, they still allow us a reasonable degree of control over our actions and a perception of reality which seems roughly in line with that of the people around us.) I have been practicing in Bethnal Green, London, since 2002 and I am trained in techniques and approaches with intriguing names like ‘Neuro-Linguistic Programming’, ‘Time Line Therapy’ and ‘Metaphor Therapy’. I often get blank looks when I mention those so I go on to describe them as using trance states just as ‘Hypnosis’ does. People are familiar with (and usually fascinated by) hypnosis. ‘Can you hypnotise me?’ they ask. ‘Perhaps I already have …’ I answer mischievously (occasionally adding a fiendish ‘Wa! Ha! Ha!’).
Why do people come to see me? Usually because some area of their life is causing them to suffer and their own attempts to ‘snap out of it’, ‘pull their socks up’ or ‘think positively’ have failed to make a significant change to the situation. They could be experiencing difficulties at work, in their social life, within their family, in their sexual relationships or they may carry their problem with them wherever they go. Whatever the context most of their experiences are due to uncomfortable (or so called ‘negative’) emotions, limiting beliefs or internal conflicts.
Uncomfortable emotions
Have you ever felt like you were on an emotional roller-coaster with seemingly small things stirring up strong feelings of anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame or depression? People often try to push the feelings away but find that they keep on coming back stronger and stronger.
Uncomfortable emotions build up over time because they were not fully resolved when they arose. Situations in the now can trigger emotions that have been building up since childhood. Rather than helping us to react they begin to be a burden and these overreactions can become difficult for those we live and work with. The constant presence of these emotions demanding our attention distorts our experience of life and we can begin to perceive the world as a bad place to be.
Releasing emotions from your memories or directly from your body lets you return to a normal calm, relaxed state of being that many people describe as like 'coming home'. The energy that was trapped inside becomes available to you again and you become balanced. You will still experience emotions but they are appropriate to the situation and you can work with them rather than against them. You have more choices over your actions and may find that situations that used to cause you problems simply do not develop any more.
Self limiting beliefs
Deep down inside do you believe that you are a failure, not good enough, a bad person or unworthy? Do you believe the world is a dangerous place or that nobody can be trusted?
Seemingly complex situations are often underpinned by the limiting beliefs about ourselves, the world or people in general. Many of these beliefs have been with us for many years – they come to define who we believe we are. They affect the way we perceive the world, the way we feel in ourselves, the way we act and, therefore, the results that we get. These results confirm our beliefs to be true and the cycle continues.
Limiting beliefs disappear when you realise, at the deepest level, that they are not and never were actually true. This could be achieved by reviewing the circumstances where you first decided them – or even by giving them back to the people who passed them on to you. When your beliefs change so does your life.
Internal conflicts
Do you ever find yourself saying ‘I am my own worst enemy’ or feeling torn between courses of action or faced with an impossible decision? At best this experience can make us dither, at worst it can become completely debilitating.
These common experiences are due to a fragmentation of the self … think how often people talk about ‘being in two minds’ about something or ‘on the one hand this, on the other hand that’. Often we can put forward convincing and emotional arguments from both sides and argue with ourselves, one part trying to beat the other part – quite literally beating ourselves up.
Resolving an internal conflict (or any relationship issue) isn’t about one side winning over the other but rather helping both parts to realise that they are both on the same team … that they are working for you. Once both parts have fully realised this they can begin to acknowledge the positive qualities in the other … things they are lacking in themselves. When there is sufficient understanding the parts come back together and a great deal of energy is released – a true human hi!.
More from me next month; in the mean time you can read more on my website http://www.vital-nlp.com.
Come and have a consultation with me, the real life Barbie!
Sarah Burge, Practitioner of Aesthetic Medicine
Treatments Available
Radiesse Injectable Fillers
Skin Peels
Medical Dermabrasion
Micro Dermabrasion
Semi-Permanent Make-up
Medical non-surgical face lifting
Scar Revision
