Article by
Chrissie Carson
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Country Singer Chrissie Carson reveals the REAL Hi!
Reaching for the Hi-notes
“Now I live my life on a humanHi and I feel fabulous! Dreams really can come true, just find the magic star inside you, everyone has one, and grab your life with both hands and don’t let go.”
CONFIDENCE! That’s what my humanHi is. After years of doubting my abilities and wondering what on earth the magic ingredient was, I finally realised. From a very early age I loved singing. I remember before I even started school, I would ask my grandmother for some old clothes, ribbons, shoes etc to dress up in. I would then proceed to have a “show”. I would clog along, my small feet just managing to drag along in some high heels, pretending to be a star. We had a kind of veranda or shelter round the back of the house and this was my stage. Sometimes I would imagine I was dressed like a fairy in a silver glittery dress that somehow stood out around me all by itself. I would have a glittering tiara on my head and look absolutely beautiful. I would sing little songs I learned at Sunday school and do a curtsey at the end. Such were my dreams.
“I would have a glittering tiara on my head and look absolutely beautiful”
I longed for gorgeous long hair, but I always had to have mine cut to “keep it tidied up”. A piece of the front section of my hair would be tied with a ribbon and a slide fixed on the bunched ends to keep them in place. I had golden curly locks that, actually I hated because I wanted to be blonde. My grandma used to say “You’ll be pleased when you get older, film stars dye their hair your colour”. I wasn’t convinced and in later years at school my intense frustration over my hair colour was not without good reason. I went through hell, being bullied at school with a never-ending chorus of “carrot-tops” and “ginger-nob”. This separated me from the main group in the class hierarchy and I started to spend my lunch hours in the music room learning to play the violin. This enabled me to escape the other kids to some degree. I gained a place in the Grammar School Junior Orchestra but this didn’t last long. I was teased on the school bus about my “Stradivarius” as it was not seen as “cool” to play the violin then. I gave up playing the violin and returned the instrument to school as it was on a loan basis. If only I could turn the clock back knowing what I know now, but I guess the whole of mankind could say that!
I wonder how many of us wish we were like somebody else or indeed that we were somebody else, doing what they’re doing and being successful at it. As I grew up I admired the country greats; Lorretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette, Mary Duff, Dolly Parton and more. How I longed with all my body and soul to be like them. I longed to be American and even practiced singing mimicking their accent. But hang on a minute – that kind of fame and lifestyle is not for me I think, that’s only for other people. I am a nobody, a country girl, and my early years spent being brought up by grandparents on a farm. I must work for my living and get a good job, a proper job, in an office. That’s what I am told I must do. So forget it. I remember the anguish of that time. How can I get from A to B? How can I escape to that different world? The world where I really long to be. To be me. It was to be a long time before that happened. Many years in fact.
“I longed to be American and even practiced singing mimicking their accent”
It all started for me when the longing got the better of me. That emotional see-saw tipped over the limit. The pain outweighed the pleasure. I had gone from working in administration into teacher training and then to teaching in both schools and colleges. There was a certain feeling of achievement in this but the salary played a great part in the pleasure aspect of it.. However, the music in me still longed to get out and my appetite was partly satisfied by doing a few gigs at weekends. This was really hard work, as a week of teaching is exhausting. I became ill and spent 6 months feeling dreadful. I was depressed, stressed, and tired all of the time. I developed bronchitis then laryngitis, and any bugs going around, well I got them. Forget singing! This was it. THIS WAS IT! I knew I had to change my life right now. This was the push I needed. I must take up the challenge to do what I’ve always wanted to do. Something gave me the confidence to make that change. I knew it was now or never. With my health in such a state what had I got to lose? Well yes, a secure salary, but what’s that compared to health and happiness? From that moment I felt like a different person. I made up some brochures on my computer advertising myself as a country music artist and sent them out to potential clients. I had more time to concentrate on my act and the gigs started to come in. I got re-booked at venues, received good feedback and suddenly realised, this is it. I’ve done it. I’ve been accepted – I’m a professional singer and entertainer.
“I feel extremely privileged because people want to hear me sing”
I have proved to myself that I do have something to give and by removing the barriers forced upon me in earlier years and allowing my true self to shine through I have become a more confident person and performer. With that confidence came what can only be described as the “Human High”. It really is a wonderful feeling when I’m out there performing, I hear the sound of my voice through the speakers, I feel the buzz from my audience, I know I look good because I’ve spent time working on my appearance, I know my stuff and it’s kind of a “sock it to them yee-ha!” feeling. In my world, I am tops, I am good, I have found myself and that’s what matters to me.